As I said before in a previous entry I was going to take some really old writing and rewrite it with my current skills. Well... my old writing is really terrible and hollow and insubstantial so already I've managed to take a few lines and expand that to a few paragraphs. I may or may not (probably will) continue, but I think I have enough now to show a difference.

Alright, and this is actually pretty embarrassing for me, so I ask that you not be... awful, in regards to the old writing. You can laugh, but don't be cruel. I was 13-14 at the time, I didn't know what I was doing, the characterization was bad, there's no description, it's all cheesy dialouge, and anything you point out about it? I already know. I've already laughed at it and had my soul cry some because of it. :D

The re-written stuff, which doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of the scene, especially since I'm essentially having to revamp it all, you are more than welcome to offer constructive criticism to. After all, this is an exercise in improvement in writing.

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So, on YouTube? There's lots of different stuff. Usually I use YouTube to watch.. like.. clips of stuff, or listen to music. I don't normally bother with the people with their own 'channels' and 'shows', but on a whim I clicked this one guy, and I've been watching his videos and I've been finding them pretty amusing. (The fact I got the Portal Reference though makes me wanna hurt Dani and Shaun ;P)

So here is one. (mild language, slightly harsh, yadda yadda, but I don't think any EFF BOMBZ were dropped. NSFW, some of his other videos are kinda 'bad' but you know, if you don't like it or any of them at any point, you can just stop watching. :) I don't watch the videos for the cursing and whatnot, I think there's more to them than that.)



And now I ask, is there anything or any one person on YouTube any of you like to watch?

Are you proud of what you write or draw? (Like the entirety of this post, the question posed isn't entirely rhetorical ;) )

When I first started to write, way back in the day, it wasn't for the sake of RP. It was for the sake of all these stories and ideas I got. However I was in like.. the seventh grade at the time. And as you know, a lot of what teenagers wrote then? Abysmal. Or perhaps it was just me. *chuckles* Anyways, it's also when I first started to draw. In regards to the writing, I remember being.. proud of it, at the time. That was relatively short lived though, when I came to realize I just wasn't that good of a writer. And with the art, I wasn't terribly proud of that, and even as I got better I've always been down on myself about it.

However.. as of late... I've grown to actually take enjoyment in my own art. My own writing. I know I'm far from anywhere even close to that realm of perfection, and I still strive to do better in both fields but right now? I'm actually in a place I feel I can be proud of what I can put out there. It's a really good feeling and I hope other writers and artists feel that way. To not hand someone a drawing saying "I drew this, but it isn't very good." but to hand it to them saying "I drew this, and I really like how it came out.". Or to write something with that same pride. There's nothing wrong in feeling pride or joy in a job well done. Nothing at all.

Something I'm going to do for fun and to see how far I've come along in writing is I'm going to dig up a really, super old piece of writing. And I'm going to take it and rewrite it with my current skills and knowledge.

I want you other writers out there to do the same.

It doesn't have to be a long scene. Or anything in particular. Just find an old snippet of writing that makes your soul cry, then rewrite it with those current skills of yours. Then? Put up both, oh yes, both pieces for the world to see on your LJ. I'll be doing that. ;) And it'll be horribly embarrassing, but ah well!

Let's start enjoying what we do and take some pride in it!

*runs off snickering as she starts typing out her old stuff*

And I post my mp3 Player's play list, which isn't all that big just yet, but ah well. XD

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No. No rants. Just random pictures. :)















Yay random pictures.

Maybe not 0. A couple good things have happened this week? I have discovered particularly cute kittens, even though a couple hate me and hiss at me like I'm a gigantic scary monster of doom, the siamese seems to like me. I'll try to get pictures up sometime. I didn't take many though so I might not have any good ones. Didn't want to freak the cats out and all, ya know?

I've also discovered bad things. Like a dead kitten. It gets worse though. The mother of this kitten? Was licking it, in spite of it's.. being dead. Now, I've tried to remain emotionally distant from the outside cats, cuz any time I get attached to something? Heart? Torn to shreds. Ripped up and just.. thrown in a wood chipper. And this has gone pretty well, though I'm sure I've come across cold to my  mother. I'm not normally that cold, and I don't like it per se, but remaining distant from things emotionally saves me a good deal of mental sanity. Just.. seeing that momma cat lick it's dead baby? The only baby it had? That really got to me and upset me. He wasn't even stiff when I found him, and looked like one of the toms had killed him.

I had planned to go out earlier too. So what if I had? Maybe I could have prevented that. Maybe not. Either way I still feel pretty crappy for it. But I consoled myself with loving on other kittens. Of course one of said kittens I just discovered bears a resemblance to one I really loved that died... Reminders, bleh

Fast forward to today. Dentist's appointment. Did that go bad? Naturally.

I knew I had a couple cavities, but nothing too big. Lo and behold I find out? I don't have one, or two, or even three cavities. I have nine. Nine. That's just.. gah. So I'm gonna have to get fillings. Silver fillings. I'm not thrilled *at all* about that. Then I lament to mom about it and how if I ever have an MRI it'll rip them outta my head and magnets blah blah blah etc and she lols at me, and tells me she's had plenty of MRIs and she has a filling and its silver and it didn't get ripped out of her head. So it's probably not as bad as I think... and apparently the ones that are tooth colored don't hold up well and crack and chip and fall out a lot, and these would go waaaaay back in my mouth. So it's not like anyone can see them.

And the wisdom teeth have to come out. Surgically. Not for a while though at least.. but they're impacted in the gums so that'll be around 800$ to get them cut out and whatnot. 250$ of that is solely to put me under anesthesia. I've never been put to sleep like that in my life, so I'm terrified of that thought. Terrified. What if I don't wake up? What if I'm not all the way asleep? I've seen the horror stories.

(Also? It's good I stopped watching House, srsly)

After the dentist, we decide to eat out for lunch. Brilliant me chose the restaurant, one we had been to before that never sucked. But today for some reason? It sucked. First, it took forever for the waitress to tend to us, the drinks cost a horrific amount of money, she never even freaking bothered to refill my drink (1.89 for a glass-with a lot of ice!- and ONE refill), and she got my mom's order wrong! Me? I decide to try something different, so I get some tortellini alfredo. I *love* tortellini and I **love** alfredo sauce. I opted not to get chicken added cuz it was already 10$ and chicken means 3 additional dollars.

My mom ordered a burger and onion rings. Got a burger and fries, but it was good at least.. I got a side salad with my meal, which was good, and some garlic bread which was just.. like... not garlic bread. It was more like garlic crust. And hard. I couldn't eat a lot of it since my teeth were kinda sore. Then out comes my plate. Already it looks terrible. The sauce has separated so it's a beautiful (/sarcasm) mix of white and yellow.. The yellow being terribly buttery and greasy. The sauce was really really really thin too. Like water. But I ate it. And complained to mom the whole time. Cuz.. like.. I've microwaved meals that've come out better than that. And seriously, we can get a bag of tortellini pasta and a jar of alfredo sauce and cook that and make enough for two and have it taste better *and* cost less.

When mom mentioned to the waitress that she got her order wrong, you know what the brilliant woman did? She stared at my mom. As if in another place entirely. She wasn't at all apologetic. Just stared, and eventually was all "DER HUR HUR?"

Even *I* told my mom not to leave a tip. And *I'm* usually the one that makes my mom leave tips regardless of service, even if just a dollar or two if we can, since I know waitresses don't make much. But holy crap, if you're off in la la land and act like you can't even speak the same freaking language, no. No tip for you.

 And then later when mom was yelling at me about something I accidentally stood in the middle of an ant pile. A fire ant pile. Luckily I noticed and threw the shoe off before pain commenced.

...

I need a nap or something.

Life.. kinda blows sometimes. Now is one of those sometimes. It's pretty depressing, but it'll pass. Usually does, so it can come back and repeat.

Rather than go into all the details of the sucktitude of my life, I will instead say I found a very cute, fat kitten today, with long grey and white fur. It was adorable. Its sibling is a siamese kitten. They'll be easy to find homes for. Since people are vain and want beautiful exotic cats. No, black cats and tabbies are devil spawn, therefore, not good enough.

Oh, yay, there's that pessimism.

Getting back on that optimistic trail, I think my artwork is improving, even if slowly. Here's a before and after of sorts, of my take on Hawk Jahad. :D Who isn't mine.

The left was done about a year and a half ago, the right was finished up just a little while ago.

Today has not been terribly great.

It started out with me having weird dreams this morning. Two back to back, both involving a friend of mine's death. Was bizarre. Inspired me to IM them today and talk with them some. That was nice. Catching up and confirming they weren't dead.

Lots of storms. I hate storms. So I ended up watching a movie earlier. Great Expectations. It was interesting, and it was also.. just.. bleh. Like, nothing ever works out like that in real life. You don't love someone and then separate for years and years and then just pick up from where you left off when reunited. Heck, many don't even do that after months.. let alone the years. And you don't get rewarded for good deeds. No... no one ever returns a favor in kind nowadays. No one ever does anything good just to be good. They want and take, but do something in return? Pfaw!

So after storm settled down, it was time to go feed the cats outside. That's when m'day did that sudden sucktacular thing. Me and mom go out, and we're looking around, and I see one of the little cats. Zelda's her name. Her brother is Link. Yeah.. I'm a nerd. But Zelda is a little bitty kitty. Real cute, not.. particularly affectionate though. She doesn't like my mom, but she likes me, and hovers around me and lets me pet her. Anyways, I see her sitting there, but when she sees it's time to eat ,she doesn't get up to walk, no. She starts dragging herself around, because it seems she can't move her hind legs.

Naturally I'm upset at seeing this, cuz that's not right, and mom's concerned too. Touching her and picking her up and such didn't result in any outward display of pain. No meowing or crying or contorting. She seemed.. otherwise okay, aside from the fact she's not moving her back legs. And.. she moved them a little, and moved her tail, so it's not a matter of paralysis, I don't think? I'm not sure what happened. Whether something hit her, or if it was a snake bite, or.. what. But.. yeah. It wasn't a good situation at all. The kicker though? She's recently had babies. So it's decision time.

Do we take her in, and leave her babies to die (we have no idea where they're at), or let her go back to her babies in her condition. I honestly opted for taking her in... but mom wouldn't have that, and didn't want to leave her babies. (Was a lose/lose decision really, so if anyone has any nasty comments about that, you can just keep them to yourself) The plan was to watch and follow her and find babies and take them all and get mommy cat cared for, but... it started to storm really bad. It got dark. There was no light. The cat went somewhere and we don't know where. It's likely she's with her kittens, but yeah, still not a great situation. I feel terrible for the fact she's still .. out there. And there's not much to be done. We went out after the storm settled to look for them, but it was too dark, and mom was freaking and yelling at me for random things (which really helped the situation, lemme tell ya).

Tbh, I'm not expecting to find this cat (or babies) alive.

Tomorrow (29th) is my birthday. Happy birthday L.

I tried to call tonight when I probably shouldn't have. I only had to call one duel though. Interest for regular duels aren't a lot during big events? I was pretty abysmal. Just in a terrible mood overall and lost my patience finally in regards to certain things. L did finally learn a valuable lesson though.. but yeah. Thanks to the ones (who know who they are) that let me rant and lament to them and/or goofed a little with me on iscribble. I was (still am?) just really sad, so a little humor helped perk me up some. Hopefully when I wake up things will be.. not as bad. But I'm not counting on a happy ending when it comes to the cat.

I've probably ranted and rambled enough now. :\

Since I'm not feeling particularly eloquent, I'll share a picture for this entry like I've seen others do ^^;...or maybe not cuz it's a big picture and I can't figure out how to show a thumbnail or anything like that... So a link to a picture instead! It nearly stormed here last night and.. just didn't, and there was a rainbow in the sky (it's almost a double, there's a super faint one above it) and I thought it was neat cuz I never get to see rainbows. :(

Aaaand, I want to share this animated .gif I made too, because everyone should see it. :D

Okay. So I took a quiz I saw on elf_fu's journal who found it at Life in the Garden of Eden.

"Devoutly dedicated to helping lead others to glory, you are a strong, supportive, and spiritual caregiver."

I have never watched Babylon 5 so this means nothing to me. :\

Okay. This relates to the thing I wrote about in my last locked entry. That... bugs me more than it ought to. But since I want to hear some advice from people, this entry is open for all to see.

I pose you this question, meant to be taken in a hypothetical fashion:

If you felt ripped off/plagarized, in character/setting/writing/etc concept, would you confront the person who made you feel that way? Even if just to find out if it were intentional or not?

I really am curious. I've had one say it's probably not the best of ideas. You can't easily prove it, and things are never 'original' anymore and people lift things (intentional or not) all the time, blah blah blah.

I'm at the point now just sitting back in silence is driving me nuts, but if people really think it's a bad idea, I can go that route too, rather than make an arsehat of myself. Just.. given some of the circumstances and factors involved in this... This bothers me.

It bothers me a lot.

These are funny. Go look at them. Now.

Still doing sketches. Check 'em out. :)

My DA page view is almost 2000. This makes me warm and fuzzy inside. It's nothing compared to some with millions of page views or whatever, but still. Small goals. Yeeeey.

Corlanthis sent me naughty pix. I now have blackmail against him. Bwahahaha.*



*Might be a slight exaggeration

Right, so it's 4 AM, and I'm talking to my awesome RP partner, and my typing skills degrade srsly as the hour progresses and... yeah. I bolded points of interest.

Me: She can't get a harden that way
Me: ...garen
Me: gardne
AwesomePlayPartner: LOL
Me: GARDNE
Me: ...
Me: !! ><
Me: Gardne
[Me: ....
APP: He can, though
Me: I can't typ eit!!!
APP::groan::
APP: ::facepalm::
Me: What?
Me: Garden
Me: YAY
APP: look up
APP: thinking about what I said
Me: OMG!

Cookies 4 j00 if you get it.

I feel like I should be passing out tissues for people to wipe the brown off their nose now. Or maybe give them cans of gasoline to fuel their flame wars.

Geez.

It saddens me that society doesn't seem to smile upon people being mature and acting adult anymore.

Someday, I'll figure it out.

Rwar. I don't really have much of anything to say. Such is my oh-so-very-exciting life. :\

I entered an art contest with this, and .. and.. didn't win. :( Didn't even make a runner up. Hurray for me! I'll probably try to enter some other contest I found. And I bet I fail in that too. :\ But who knows. I entered a contest at Seventh Sanctum a couple years ago and lost, so maybe this time I'll do better.

Sketch-A-Days!
3-31: Saria
4-1: Baker
4-2: zomg failed!
4-3: Elly
4-3: Llama Al

I should do an art trade or two sometime. :\ If anyone is interested they can lemme know?

So it's probably not a big secret that L loves her cat more than anything. Don't get me wrong - I love *all* my cats. But my oldest, the one I've had for going on 11 years now, that is my heart and soul right there. He's also like his mommy (me), very accident prone. He's the genius that horked into my electrical sockets the other night. This afternoon, I guess he figured it would be nice to give mommy a full fledged panic attack. THANKS A LOT PRECIOUS SON o' MINE!

I was sitting at my computer working on a sweet sketch for my FF Fan Art project. My cat sees my cell phone plugged in and decides that he just has to play with the cord and tug on it. Somehow he ends up unplugging the cord from the phone and gets the phone off the table to hurl downwards right. into. his. face. Which is bad enough, that would have freaked me out right there, but no, my cat? He opens his mouth as wide as he can, in this.. silent scream. Like he's just *agonizing*. I.. well.. I panic. These thoughts are going through my head.. what if his nose is broke, what if his jaw is broke, oh my god we're going to have to put him down, oh my god he's hurt he's hurt...

I started to bawl.

So mom hears this, and is all "What's wrong what's wrong?!" so I pick up my cat as careful as I could, still bawling and trying to soothe him, and toddle off to her room, panicking, crying, and practically dry heaving by this point.

THE BEST PART IS BY NOW MY CAT IS OKAY AND PURRING AS IF NOTHING EVER HAPPENED!

Of course his mommy has succumbed too far to the panic to effectively calm down. So while sniffling away, I set him on the bed in front of my mom and start to regale her with the story of woe. Meanwhile he's purring and flipping and rolling around. I start to calm, but it really took me a while to get to the point of not crying and sniffling. Mom looks him over, we hold him and smooch and snuggle and make a big fuss over him and he eats it up.

So things are okay now. They were never really bad to begin with. He probably did hurt himself there, but mommy just panicked about his owwie facial expressions. It's not the first time I've panicked over him either. There was a time we had to take him to the vet on an emergency call because he was in a lot of pain. Was crying and meowing and stuff. I cried the entire trip there and the entire trip back because we had to leave him overnight. Wasn't anything terribly serious though. Just required some medicine and dietary changes.

Before the panic attack of '08 struck things were really nice earlier today. I slept in cuz I felt a little nauseous and he cuddled with me *all day*. ^_^ Had his head on the pillow next to mine with all his little paws wrapped around me. He's such a good boy. When I'm sick or sad he's there. The other day I was sad about something and he hopped on the couch with me and snuggled with his face on mine, cheek to cheek.

As he gets older though I'm going to have to cat proof my room... oy vey.

In other news, frogs are apparently going extinct. :( It was some article in the newspaper mom showed me. It made me sad, as frogs/toads are my second favorite animal and I love em.

Today needs to get better soon. *sigh* We're getting Subway for supper though, so that's a start. :)

SKETCH A DAYS! (I love working in greyscale~)

3-29: Citan Uzuki
3-30: Bane

Also, with the picture I'm currently working on, I wanted to do a forest-y background. However I fail at backgrounds. So if anyone knows a good forest/background tutorial (How to draw them, not shop them) please lemme know? :)

So last night? My cat decided it'd be a good idea to vomit on my electrical outlets. So I hear *HORK HORK HORK FIZZLE CRACKLE POP FIZZZZLE*

So that couldn't possibly be good. And it wasn't. It had sparks, and smelled like burning. So I had to unplug it from the wall, do some cleaning and drying, and let it sit overnight all unplugged. It works fine today though, without sparking and burning, so that's good! My cat shouldn't do that though! I'm super glad he's okay. And didn't end up frying himself.. *sigh* Will have to keep a closer eye on him when he's in here.

Anyhoo my Sketch-A-Day today is... Elly from Xenogears, as per eve_dot_com's suggestion. ^^ Spent more time on it than I should have, but I couldn't help mahself.